i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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