Me. At least after what I've been through.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize