Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
