i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
