it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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