What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
