Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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