So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
