So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
