i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
