garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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