Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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