Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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