seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
