Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
