I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
