The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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