What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
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You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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