i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
