My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
