Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
