So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
