you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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