Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
