I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize