you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
