The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
