some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
