I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
