He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
