i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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