Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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