Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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