Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Barsexuality is the new black.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
