You really coming over, don't trick.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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