Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
