How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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