i just google imaged poop.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize