it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This is my gift to your gina
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize