I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
