Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize