The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?