I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
