PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.