Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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