She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.