Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
