I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he fucked my hip out of place.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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