All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
