i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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