sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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