I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
