Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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