How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
