I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Still dying that you shit outside
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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