I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
