We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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