so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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