Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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