Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
