She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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