id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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