these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
