someone owes me an orgasm
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize