Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Quick, to the slutcave!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
