you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
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I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
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We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.