i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.