I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
