i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am midnight drunk by noon
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
