thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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