So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.