Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she looked like the before picture.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
