Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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