Kiss
Puke
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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